Funny Bed Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Under the Covers! 🛏️😂

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

2 months ago2 months ago

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

2 months ago2 months ago

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

2 months ago2 months ago

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

3 months ago2 months ago

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

3 months ago2 months ago

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

3 months ago2 months ago

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

3 months ago2 months ago

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

3 months ago2 months ago

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

3 months ago2 months ago

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

3 months ago2 months ago

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

3 months ago2 months ago

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

3 months ago2 months ago

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

3 months ago2 months ago

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

4 months ago2 months ago

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

4 months ago2 months ago

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

4 months ago2 months ago

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

4 months ago2 months ago

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

4 months ago2 months ago

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

4 months ago2 months ago

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

4 months ago2 months ago

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

4 months ago2 months ago

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

4 months ago2 months ago

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

4 months ago2 months ago

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

4 months ago2 months ago

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

4 months ago2 months ago