211 Funny bed quotes

• I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

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  1 week ago

  bed, daily, daily life, frustration, going, going to bed, government, life, politics, sick, thinking, thought, waking, waking up

• Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

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  1 week ago

  20s, bed, edge, nervousness, posture, should, sitting, spent, twenty

• How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

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  1 week ago

  anything, bed, couple, couples, done, girlfriend, humor, i, laziness, leave, live, living, living together, procrastination, relationship, together

• Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

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  1 week ago

  bed, birthday, forgetfulness, forgetting, hack, humor, life, life hack, marriage, ordinary, prank, relationship, simply, sofa, sofa bed, turn, wife

• My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

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  1 week ago

  able, back, bed, getting, getting up, knowing, morning, motivation, relaxation, sleep

• It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

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  1 week ago

  bed, bedtime, bedtime conflict, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, child, conflict, little, parenthood, people, put, routine, seems, sleep, struggle, unfair, unfairness, want

• You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

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  1 week ago

  amusement, bed, bed chamber, chamber, enter, flirtation, humor, jester, me, medieval

• “I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

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  1 week ago

  bed, bed size, beds, couple, couples, divorce, divorce rate, interested, king, king bed, marriage, queen, queen bed, rate, relationship, size, sleep

• What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

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  1 week ago

  alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work

• The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

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  1 week ago

  5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth

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