22 Funny blood quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

  Commentary:
  Why stop at orc? Add some Red Bull and become a full raid boss! 🧃🐉

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

  Commentary:
  Just your typical Friday night plans, right? 🌕🔮🩸

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

  Commentary:
  Guess we better start stocking up on pepperoni just in case the mosquitoes decide to swap their bloodlust for a slice obsession! 🍕🦟

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Does your blood pump that way just for me?

  Commentary:
  "Of course! My heart's a DJ, and it's playing your theme song! 🎶❤️😂"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation and zen could be so competitive? Watch out, this blood pressure machine might just challenge you to a rematch!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

  Commentary:
  Oh, we're going old school with the romantic demands, aren't we? Better sharpen those quills and get ready to spill some “blood” to win that Valentine's Day prize! 🖋️💉 Let's hope your potential Valentine has a thing for poetic gore and a twisted sense of humor! 🩸😂

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

  Commentary:
  Looks like a routine check-up turns into a family affair 🩺👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Don't mess with the blood pressure machine – it's a group activity now! 😂 #FamilyHealthChecks #TeamEffort

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

  Commentary:
  "☕ Coffee is so last season, I'm ready to power up with the blood of my enemies today! 💪💀 Who needs caffeine when you've got revenge coursing through your veins? 😂🔥 #MondayMotivation"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your immune system has a strict 'no smiles allowed' policy! 😄🦠 Don't worry, maybe try a stealthy smirk next time to avoid any rebel white blood cells. Keep those immune cells on their toes! #SmileStruggles

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Donating blood today to make room for more food.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs extra blood when you can have extra dessert? 🍩💉 Making sure there's always space for that post-donation snack! 😉 #FoodOverBlood"

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