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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has shared:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Slack:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Spotted on Twitch:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Going viral on TikTok:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Just shared via X:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Making waves on X:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Trending via Threads:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Home Β» Funny Blood Quotes

24 Funny blood quotes

Funny blood quotes add a dash of humor to the often serious topic of health and medical quirks! πŸ©ΈπŸ˜‚ Whether it’s witty remarks about the trials of donating blood or amusing takes on vampire lore, these quotes provide a light-hearted perspective. Embrace the funny side of blood-related moments and enjoy a chuckle! πŸ˜„πŸ©Ί

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For even more funny blood quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny blood quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽπŸŽ…πŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

96 shares on Threads this month:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

76 shares on X this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œAI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,907

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has shared:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has downloaded:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on X:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Just shared via YouTube:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Spotted on Reddit:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Live now on Messenger:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Just landed via Pinterest:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Going viral on TikTok:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

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