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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Shared recently on Slack:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Live now on Slack:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Breaking via WeChat:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Going viral on YouTube:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Breaking via Twitch:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Spotted on Facebook:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Trending via Reddit:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Breaking via Threads:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Just shared via X:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

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