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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Spotted on X:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Seen just now on X:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Breaking via Instagram:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Live now on Discord:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Breaking via YouTube:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Spotted on Instagram:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Friends with consequences.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

36 shares on Discord this month:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Trending via X:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Just shared via Twitch:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Breaking via Instagram:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

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