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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Breaking via Threads:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Spotted on Facebook:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Trending via Slack:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Just landed via Instagram:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Live now on Reddit:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Making waves on Reddit:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Making waves on Facebook:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Breaking via TikTok:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

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