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19 Funny dining quotes

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

1 month ago

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

1 month ago

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

2 months ago

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

3 months ago

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

3 months ago

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

3 months ago

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

3 months ago

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

3 months ago

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

3 months ago

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

3 months ago

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

3 months ago

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

3 months ago

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

3 months ago

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

3 months ago

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

3 months ago

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

3 months ago

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

3 months ago

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

3 months ago

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

3 months ago