31 funny dining quotes - Wordgag ツ

If I open a restaurant, there won’t be a menu. You will get what you deserve.

Mar 7, 2026Mar 7, 2026

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Feb 1, 2026

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Feb 1, 2026

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Feb 1, 2026

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Feb 1, 2026

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Feb 1, 2026

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Jan 31, 2026

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Jan 30, 2026

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Jan 30, 2026

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Jan 30, 2026

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Jan 29, 2026

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Jan 29, 2026

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Jan 28, 2026

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Jan 23, 2026

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Jan 23, 2026

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Jan 23, 2026

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Jan 22, 2026

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Jan 22, 2026

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Jan 22, 2026

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Jan 22, 2026

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Jan 22, 2026

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Jan 22, 2026

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Jan 21, 2026

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Jan 21, 2026

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Jan 21, 2026

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Jan 20, 2026

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Jan 20, 2026

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Jan 19, 2026

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Jan 19, 2026

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Jan 18, 2026

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Jan 18, 2026