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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Just landed via YouTube:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Live now on Facebook:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Making waves on WeChat:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Making waves on Reddit:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Instagram this month:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

34 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Men need women, women need men. The end.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Just landed via Messenger:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Broadcasted on X:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Going viral on X:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Just landed via Discord:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Just shared via Discord:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

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