Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Breaking via X:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Going bananas on Facebook:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Live now on Messenger:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Going viral on Twitch:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Funny enhancement quotes

New funny enhancement quotes 👇

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

0

2 months ago

actually, alcohol, drug, enhancement, expectations, humor, irony, performance

Someone from 🇸🇩 has recently copied this quote.

20 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny enhancement quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Threads this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Spotted on Discord:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Seen just now on Reddit:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Spotted on Pinterest:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Going viral on Twitch:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Trending via Slack:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Going bananas on X:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny enhancement quotes

New funny enhancement quotes 👇

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

All funny enhancement quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨