Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Trending via Reddit:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Spotted on X:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Making waves on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Going viral on Facebook:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Just shared via Threads:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Just shared via X:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Funny essential oil quotes

Funny essential oil quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌿😂 to your wellness routine! Whether you’re a diffuser fanatic or a lavender lover, these witty sayings add a dash of humor 😜✨ to everyday aromatherapy. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, they remind us that self-care doesn’t have to be serious all the time. Get ready to smile and sniff your way to good vibes! 🌸💧

New funny essential oil quotes 👇

All funny essential oil quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

94 shares on Threads this month:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

20 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

97 shares on Discord this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Trending via Discord:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Trending via WeChat:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Just shared via TikTok:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Making waves on Instagram:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Live now on Snapchat:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴