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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Trending via Snapchat:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just shared via Reddit:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Reported on Slack:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Live now on WeChat:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Just landed via Messenger:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Reported on Threads:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Live now on X:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

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