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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The older I get, no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,928

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Trending via TikTok:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Seen just now on Slack:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Just landed via Instagram:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Spotted on Facebook:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Just landed via Messenger:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

32 Funny flirtation quotes

Funny flirtation quotes are the perfect way to add a spark 🔥 and a smile 😄 to your conversations. Whether you’re breaking the ice or just having fun, a clever, cheeky line can turn up the charm 💫 and keep things lighthearted. Ready to flirt with a twist of humor? Let’s dive into some witty words that’ll make hearts skip a beat 💌 and laughter follow!

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All funny flirtation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

42 shares on X this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,763

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Just landed via Threads:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Just landed via Messenger:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Going viral on Instagram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Spotted on Facebook:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Trending via Threads:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

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