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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,232

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Just landed via Discord:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Breaking via YouTube:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Funny food mishap quotes

New funny food mishap quotes 👇

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

0

2 months ago

clumsy, date, flip, food, food mishap, funny moment, hair, hair flip, humor, just, mishap, moment, onion, onion ring, playful, ring, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation

Someone from 🇬🇪 has recently bookmarked this quote.

49 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny food mishap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

35 shares on Twitch this month:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

90 shares on Slack this month:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Trending via Instagram:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Just landed via WeChat:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Seen just now on Threads:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny food mishap quotes

New funny food mishap quotes 👇

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

All funny food mishap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨