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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,002

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,002

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Trending via Snapchat:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Spotted on Discord:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Just shared via Instagram:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Going viral on WeChat:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Just landed via X:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Spotted on Discord:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Spotted on WeChat:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Going viral on YouTube:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

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Funny forensic quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,002

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,002

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Spotted on Twitch:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Trending via Slack:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Just landed via WeChat:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Making waves on WeChat:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Just shared via Threads:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Going viral on Discord:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Making waves on Threads:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

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