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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Going viral on Threads:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Making waves on WeChat:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Going viral on Twitch:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Seen just now on Discord:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Live now on X:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Going viral on X:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Making waves on YouTube:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

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Funny freestyle quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Reported on Telegram:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Spotted on Discord:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Reported on Facebook:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Breaking via Reddit:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Seen just now on Threads:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Just landed via X:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Reported on Discord:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

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