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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Making waves on Threads:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Going viral on Slack:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Just landed via Reddit:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Going viral on Instagram:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Live now on Discord:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Trending via Threads:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Freshly posted on X:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Making waves on X:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Reported on Pinterest:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Just landed via Facebook:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Just shared via Telegram:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

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