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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

40 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Shared recently on Reddit:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Reported on YouTube:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Going viral on X:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Making waves on TikTok:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Home » Funny Fruit Quotes

34 Funny fruit quotes

Funny fruit quotes add a juicy twist to the world of fresh produce! 🍎😂 From playful observations about fruit cravings to witty remarks on the quirks of different fruits, these quotes capture the humor in our fruity favorites. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the lighter side of healthy snacking! 😄🍉

New funny fruit quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Commentary:
That explains why I never seem to be ready for anything! 🥑⏳
2 weeks ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving peak banana management! 🍌🏆 #FruitNinja"
1 month ago
Share →: Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Commentary:
"Agreed! Nothing says 'I fought a fruit and the fruit won' quite like a pomegranate! 🍴😂🍇"
1 month ago
Share →: The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of when melons discovered fashion! 🎃👖😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Commentary:
"Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆"
3 months ago
Share →: People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Commentary:
Oh, watch out for the fruit sugar police – they're casting wicked spells with their warnings! 🍎🍭🧙‍♀️ Remember, a little sweetness never hurt anyone, unless you've got a fear of deliciousness! 🤪
4 months ago
Share →: Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Commentary:
"Watermelon: the chewy, hydrating dumbbell of fruits! 🍉💪 Get your exercise in while trying to chop this bad boy open. Who needs a gym when you've got watermelon? 🤣 #FruitFit"
4 months ago
Share →: I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Commentary:
"Being a fruitarian sounds peachy 🍑, but baby spinach deserves to grow up and fulfill its veggie dreams! 🌱😂 Lettuce have some compassion for the leafy greens! 🥬 #VeggieDrama"
4 months ago
Share →: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Commentary:
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away…unless the doctor is cute! 🍎😍 Who needs fruit when you have a charming physician checking up on you? 😉 #HealthyCrush"
4 months ago
Share →: The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Commentary:
Well, they do say that looks can be deceiving! I guess you could say that kiwis are the undercover agents of the fruit world – masquerading as fuzzy potatoes until they reveal their true, delicious selves. Who knew that a simple fruit could keep us all on our toes?

For even more funny fruit quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny fruit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

40 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Just shared via Messenger:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Making waves on Messenger:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Spotted on Pinterest:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Live now on Threads:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Spotted on Instagram:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

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