46 Funny fruit quotes — Wordgag ツ

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

1 week ago1 week ago

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

2 weeks ago

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

2 weeks ago

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

2 weeks ago

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

2 weeks ago

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

2 weeks ago

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

2 weeks ago

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

2 weeks ago

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

2 weeks ago

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

2 weeks ago

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

2 weeks ago

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

2 weeks ago

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

2 weeks ago

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

2 weeks ago

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

2 weeks ago

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

2 weeks ago

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

2 weeks ago

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

2 weeks ago

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

2 weeks ago

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

3 weeks ago

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

3 weeks ago

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

3 weeks ago

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

3 weeks ago

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

3 weeks ago

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

3 weeks ago

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

3 weeks ago

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

3 weeks ago

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

3 weeks ago

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

3 weeks ago

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

3 weeks ago

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

3 weeks ago

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

3 weeks ago

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

3 weeks ago

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

4 weeks ago

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

4 weeks ago

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

4 weeks ago

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

4 weeks ago

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

1 month ago1 month ago

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

2 months ago2 months ago

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

3 months ago3 months ago

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

3 months ago3 months ago

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

4 months ago4 months ago

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

4 months ago4 months ago

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

4 months ago4 months ago

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

4 months ago4 months ago

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

4 months ago4 months ago