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Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,066

4 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Just shared via Discord:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Seen just now on X:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Spotted on Reddit:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Trending via X:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Making waves on YouTube:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Trending via Snapchat:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Home » Funny Fruit Quotes

34 Funny fruit quotes

Funny fruit quotes add a juicy twist to the world of fresh produce! 🍎😂 From playful observations about fruit cravings to witty remarks on the quirks of different fruits, these quotes capture the humor in our fruity favorites. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the lighter side of healthy snacking! 😄🍉

New funny fruit quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Commentary:
That explains why I never seem to be ready for anything! 🥑⏳
3 weeks ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving peak banana management! 🍌🏆 #FruitNinja"
1 month ago
Share →: Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Commentary:
"Agreed! Nothing says 'I fought a fruit and the fruit won' quite like a pomegranate! 🍴😂🍇"
2 months ago
Share →: The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of when melons discovered fashion! 🎃👖😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Commentary:
"Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆"
3 months ago
Share →: People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Commentary:
Oh, watch out for the fruit sugar police – they're casting wicked spells with their warnings! 🍎🍭🧙‍♀️ Remember, a little sweetness never hurt anyone, unless you've got a fear of deliciousness! 🤪
4 months ago
Share →: Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Commentary:
"Watermelon: the chewy, hydrating dumbbell of fruits! 🍉💪 Get your exercise in while trying to chop this bad boy open. Who needs a gym when you've got watermelon? 🤣 #FruitFit"
4 months ago
Share →: I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Commentary:
"Being a fruitarian sounds peachy 🍑, but baby spinach deserves to grow up and fulfill its veggie dreams! 🌱😂 Lettuce have some compassion for the leafy greens! 🥬 #VeggieDrama"
4 months ago
Share →: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Commentary:
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away…unless the doctor is cute! 🍎😍 Who needs fruit when you have a charming physician checking up on you? 😉 #HealthyCrush"
4 months ago
Share →: The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Commentary:
Well, they do say that looks can be deceiving! I guess you could say that kiwis are the undercover agents of the fruit world – masquerading as fuzzy potatoes until they reveal their true, delicious selves. Who knew that a simple fruit could keep us all on our toes?

For even more funny fruit quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny fruit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,066

4 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Breaking via Messenger:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Seen just now on X:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Reported on Snapchat:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Breaking via Instagram:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

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