24 Funny girlfriend quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! 🙉✨

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

  Commentary:
  Wow, I guess someone's expecting a Titanic love story in about 25 years! 🚢😂👶

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, so heartbreak is just the universe’s weird way of giving us a performance review! 🚀💔😄"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

  Commentary:
  💦✨ "Guess I need lessons on how to sparkle like a disco ball! Anyone got a beginner’s guide to glistening?" 😂💎

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

  Commentary:
  "Career change: from office worker to full-time 'yes, dear' consultant! 🤔💕😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a girlfriend when you can have an arch-nemesis instead? 😂💔 Watch out, we've got a superhero in the making!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs ex-girlfriends when you can collect ex-crushes like Pokémon cards? Gotta catch 'em all! 😄💔 #HeartbreakMaster"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

  Commentary:
  "At least food won't break your heart or steal your fries. You do you, foodie extraordinaire!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's love life took a turn for the cheesy! Who knew that a rat could steal not just your crumbs, but also your heart?

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

  Commentary:
  "If I was polyamorous, I think I'd date my girlfriend three times… because who needs variety when you've already found the one? 🤣💕 #MonogamyForTheWin"

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