Commentary:
"Ah, so heartbreak is just the universe’s weird way of giving us a performance review! 🚀💔😄"
52 Funny girlfriend quotes
My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.
Commentary:
💦✨ "Guess I need lessons on how to sparkle like a disco ball! Anyone got a beginner’s guide to glistening?" 😂💎
Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.
Commentary:
"Career change: from office worker to full-time 'yes, dear' consultant! 🤔💕😂"
I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.
Commentary:
"Who needs a girlfriend when you can have an arch-nemesis instead? 😂💔 Watch out, we've got a superhero in the making!"
People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.
Commentary:
"Who needs ex-girlfriends when you can collect ex-crushes like Pokémon cards? Gotta catch 'em all! 😄💔 #HeartbreakMaster"
Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.
Commentary:
"At least food won't break your heart or steal your fries. You do you, foodie extraordinaire!"
I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.
Commentary:
Looks like someone's love life took a turn for the cheesy! Who knew that a rat could steal not just your crumbs, but also your heart?
If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.
Commentary:
"If I was polyamorous, I think I'd date my girlfriend three times… because who needs variety when you've already found the one? 🤣💕 #MonogamyForTheWin"
Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.
Commentary:
"Girlfriend is like a summer fling 🌞, but ex-girlfriend is the ghost of relationships past that haunts you forever! 👻😂"
Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?
Commentary:
"Move over Spotify Wrapped 🎵, the real challenge is tracking the minutes spent listening to your girlfriend this year! ⏰😂 Who needs music when you've got relationship tuning in? 🎧💕 #GirlfriendGoals"