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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has shared:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has shared:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Freshly posted on Threads:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Spotted on Threads:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Just landed via WeChat:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Just shared via Instagram:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Spotted on YouTube:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Just shared via Messenger:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can I come over and figure you out?

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going β€œohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has β€œfile not found” written all over their face.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

UK rappers be like β€œI’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is β€œfine once you get to know them”.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has shared:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

β€œIt is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption β€œCome on, guys.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has viewed:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has viewed:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Spotted on Telegram:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Live now on WeChat:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Spotted on YouTube:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Going viral on Reddit:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Trending via YouTube:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Going viral on Facebook:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

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