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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,955

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,955

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Trending via Telegram:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Reported on WeChat:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Making waves on Slack:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Spotted on Discord:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

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Funny hamstring quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,955

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,955

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Breaking via Threads:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via Snapchat:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Trending via Pinterest:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Going viral on Reddit:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

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