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130 Funny holiday quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Commentary:
Looks like someone is embracing the "Neighborhood Design Guru" title with gusto! 🎨🏡 Who needs a TV when you can simply gaze out the window at your masterpiece across the street? Just don't forget the popcorn for the daily show! 🍿
5 months ago
Share →: Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's sleigh isn't the only thing that slides into your DMs! 🎅📱 If he ever takes a scroll through your social media, you might be unwrapping a whole lot of therapy sessions this Christmas! 😂🎁#NaughtyListBound
5 months ago
Share →: Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Commentary:
"Well, maybe it's because they wanted their own version of a 'rockin' Christmas' 🎅🦕 Who wouldn't want to see Dino dressed up as a reindeer? 🦌🪨 #YabbaDabbaDontQuestionTheHolidaySpirit"
5 months ago
Share →: There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's not the only one making a list and checking it twice this Christmas! 🌕🎄🍷 Time to watch out for those festive shenanigans under the magical glow of the full moon! 🌝🎅 Cheers to a merry and memorable holiday season! 🎉🥂
5 months ago
Share →: Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Commentary:
"Well, that's the true holiday dilemma, isn't it? 🎄🥃 Decisions, decisions! Just remember, whichever way you go, it's all about spreading cheer! Cheers to a festive season! 🎅🥂"
5 months ago
Share →: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜
5 months ago
Share →: I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's stuck in a holiday rut, but hey, at least it's a delicious one! 🎄🍔 #ChristmasFeast"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Commentary:
"Ah, the introverted holiday season strategy: Lights off, trying to hide from social interactions like a stealthy ninja 🎄😅 If you spot any peeking out, proceed with caution – they might be in hibernation mode! 🕵️‍♂️💤"
5 months ago
Share →: Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Commentary:
"Whoops! Looks like someone forgot to check the family calendar before planning their secrets! 🗓️🤭 Maybe next time pick a less festive season for clandestine endeavors! #SecretFamilyProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Commentary:
😂🎄 "Ah, the classic Christmas eve panic, where last-minute shopping becomes an extreme sport! 'Well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner' is like the holiday version of 'I told you so!' ❄️ Pro tip: stock up on eggnog and patience for those who find themselves in this jolly predicament!"