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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

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10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

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3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Live now on Twitch:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Spotted on X:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Live now on WeChat:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Live now on WeChat:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Broadcasted on X:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Spotted on Telegram:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Spotted on X:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

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Funny home inquiry quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Just landed via Facebook:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Seen just now on X:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Trending via Messenger:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Trending via Telegram:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Shared recently on Discord:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

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