Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Trending via Discord:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Just landed via X:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Funny houseplant quotes

Funny houseplant quotes bring a splash of green humor 🌿😄 to your day, turning plant parenting into a laugh-out-loud adventure! Whether you’re a seasoned leaf lover or a newbie with a thirsty cactus 🌵, these witty words will brighten your space and mood. Ready to grow some giggles alongside your greenery? Let’s dive into the funniest plant puns and clever quips that every plant enthusiast will adore! 🌱😂

New funny houseplant quotes 👇

All funny houseplant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Just landed via Facebook:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Just shared via YouTube:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Just landed via Discord:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Breaking via Threads:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

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