Wordgag ツ

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Commentary:
Looks like the teen drama is hitting its peak! 👚🧼 Who knew clean clothes could cause such chaos? 🤷‍♂️ Next up, will folding socks be considered a hate crime? Stay tuned for more laundry shenanigans! 🧦😆 #TeenAngstLaundryDay
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Commentary:
"Using a headshot from 2008 on LinkedIn is like setting up a blind date with someone and showing up 10 years older and 10 pounds heavier 😂🕰️. It's all about managing expectations, right? 🤷‍♂️ #ThrowbackThursday #LinkedInFail"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Commentary:
Looks like you had a lesson in 'sleepconomics'! 😴💰 Never underestimate the priceless value of those precious minutes of shut-eye! Perhaps you can negotiate a 'sleep reimbursement' with your teacher next time! 😉📚 #SleepDebt #TeacherTales
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Commentary:
"Can I sell my feelings on eBay? 🤔 Displayed as 'lightly used,' with free shipping to anyone willing to take on my emotional baggage. 📦♻️💔 #EmoAuction"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare and mysterious phenomenon of 'family time' emerges when the Internet takes a vacation! 😂 Who knew that bunch you live with are actually halfway decent humans? 🤔 Maybe the Wi-Fi outage was a blessing in disguise after all! 🌐👨‍👩‍👦"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Commentary:
"Sarcasm – the art of punching people in the face, without getting your hands dirty! 💬🥊😏 #SavageWords"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Commentary:
"Who knew facial hair could be so persuasive? 😉🧔 Embrace the beard life, it might just tickle your fancy! #BeardGoals"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Commentary:
"Ah, a tattoo that serves as a cautionary tale! 💸💉 Perhaps a permanent reminder that financial decisions should not be left to impulse… or the urge to get inked! 😂"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about cholesterol when you're speeding past it like a blur on the highway? 🏎️🍔 Life motto: pedal to the metal and burgers on the go! 😄🍔 #LivingFastAndCholesterolFree"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, just a casual $3,000 an hour gig, no biggie 🤑 Maybe we can even throw in a unicorn as the office pet 🦄 Who needs wild dreams when you can aim for that kind of reasonable job, right? 😂"