Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Spotted on X:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Live now on Facebook:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Making waves on Telegram:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Going viral on Threads:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Funny internal dialogue quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

26 shares on X this month:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

79 shares on Discord this month:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

35 shares on YouTube this month:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Going viral on Messenger:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Spotted on Instagram:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Trending via Instagram:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Breaking via Slack:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

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