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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Just landed via WeChat:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Just shared via Telegram:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Going viral on YouTube:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Making waves on Twitch:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Reported on TikTok:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Making waves on Messenger:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Home » Funny Kitchen Sex Quotes

Funny kitchen sex quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Making waves on Threads:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Going viral on Instagram:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Spotted on Telegram:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Spotted on TikTok:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

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