361 Funny know quotes

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  3 hours ago

  Share →: Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

  Commentary:
  😂🍹 “This liver’s playing hide and seek like a pro! Who knew internal organs could outsmart a drink? Cheers to culinary camouflage!” 🍔🎉

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

  Commentary:
  “Board games really bring out my alter ego: ‘Competitive Cathy’ 😈🎲 Who knew a simple game of Monopoly could cause inner monster mayhem?” 🤣🏰

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

  Commentary:
  “Who knew avoiding awkward encounters was the ultimate cardio workout? 😂🏃‍♂️💨 #WalmartOlympics”

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

  Commentary:
  “Memory of a goldfish in training! 🐠 P.S. If you see my keys, remind them who I am! 🔑😂”

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

  Commentary:
  “When opportunity knocks… or rather, flushes! 🚽🤣 #BathroomBreaksAreTheNewSnacks”

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

  Commentary:
  “Activate stealth mode! 🕵️‍♂️🛒 Remember, a well-timed duck behind the cereal aisle might just save your afternoon! 🤫😄”

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

  Commentary:
  “When you hear the full name, run for cover! 😂👟👶 #MiddleNameAlert #UhOh”

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: “What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

  Commentary:
  “Playlist diversity champion right here! 🎶🙌 If it jams, it lambs!”

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

  Commentary:
  “Fact check: Everyone has their ‘hot mess’ moments—some just look hotter doing it! 😂🔥 #EqualOpportunityTerribleness”

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

  …

  Commentary:
  “When a text message sounds exactly like them, I giggle as if they’re narrating their own drama! 🤣🎤 #ChuckleComms”

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