611 funny know quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

May 30, 2026

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

May 30, 2026

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

May 30, 2026

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

May 30, 2026

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

May 30, 2026

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

May 30, 2026

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

May 30, 2026

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

May 30, 2026

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

May 29, 2026

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

May 29, 2026

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

May 29, 2026

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

May 29, 2026

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

May 29, 2026

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

May 29, 2026

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

May 29, 2026

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

May 29, 2026

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

May 29, 2026

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

May 29, 2026

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

May 29, 2026

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

May 29, 2026

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

May 29, 2026

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

May 29, 2026

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

May 29, 2026

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

May 29, 2026

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

May 29, 2026

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

May 29, 2026

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

May 29, 2026

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

May 29, 2026

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

May 29, 2026

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

May 29, 2026

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

May 29, 2026

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

May 29, 2026

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

May 29, 2026

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

May 29, 2026

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

May 29, 2026

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

May 29, 2026

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

May 29, 2026

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

May 29, 2026

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

May 29, 2026

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

May 29, 2026