Wordgag ツ

Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Commentary:
"Warning: Riding with me may include heart-stopping moments and potential near-death experiences 🚗💨 Please keep all screams and panic attacks to a minimum for a smoother journey. Safety not guaranteed, but entertainment is!"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Commentary:
"Talk about blind faith 🙈! Getting tattooed in an invisible spot takes a special kind of self-assurance…or a really trusting tattoo artist! 😅 Who needs a mirror when you've got guts like that? 🦾💉 #ConfidenceGoals"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Commentary:
"Well, if no injuries, at least come back with a dramatic story about fighting off a pack of wild squirrels on your way home 🐿️🤣 Safety first, but entertainment value a close second, right?"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of free speech: where the quirky, zany, and downright bonkers have their moment to shine! 🤪 Letting crazy people talk just means giving them a chance to showcase their unique brand of absurdity. 🤣 Embrace the madness and enjoy the show! 🎭"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Me: *sends enthusiastic text about work*

Boss: *ignores*

Me: *cries in emojis* 😭💔

Who knew excitement was a one-sided affair at the office? 🤷‍♂️💼 #MondayBlues"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Commentary:
"Debt collectors really know how to hold a grudge, huh? 😂 It's like they never forget that one time you missed a payment five years ago! 📅💸 Let's hope they have a better memory for their own birthdays! 🎉🤣"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Commentary:
"Remember, life is too short to chase people who don't make an effort to be in your life. 🕒✂️ Surround yourself with those who value your time like it's a limited edition snack – available for a good time, not a long time! 🍿😄"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for that one elusive excuse to justify our laziness! If only we put half as much effort into finding motivation as we do in making up excuses 🤷‍♂️💤 #ProcrastinationNation"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you have a demanding feline personal trainer? 🐱💪 Talk about the ultimate cardio workout! #CatFitGoals"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Commentary:
"Who needs a boyfriend when you have the rain to provide all the drama 🌧️💁‍♀️ Let the rain showers wash away your worries and leave the heartache indoors! 😉 #RainTherapy"