877 Funny life quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the marvels of the human body – a complex machine that comes with no instruction manual and requires constant TLC! 🤔💪 Just imagine the designer going, 'Let's include random sneezing and a brain that craves both salad and ice cream – that'll keep things interesting!' 😂 #JustHumanThings"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

  Commentary:
  📱 "I'm officially at the age where I'm not upgrading my phone until it stops working." Well, who needs the latest tech when you have a smartphone that's practically an antique? Embrace the retro vibes and let that ancient relic keep you texting like a time traveler! 🕰️ #OldSchoolIsCool

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

  Commentary:
  "Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet: no matter how hard you try, it always ends up messy and just when you think you've got it figured out, you realize you're doing it all wrong 🙈🛏️ #AdultingStruggles"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the hefty price tag on funerals is the ultimate anti-aging remedy! 💸⏳ Who knew the fear of funeral bills could add years to your life? 😂 #LifeHacks"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

  Commentary:
  "Life is just one big game of baseball – some days you're hitting home runs 🦇 and other days you're getting fouled out ⚾️. Just remember, even if you're feeling like the ball today, tomorrow you might just become the bat again! 🌟"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where you could look up your barista on 'Baristapedia' before deciding if they're worth that extra shot of espresso in your latte! ☕🔍 Who knew your morning caffeine fix could come with a side of online stalking? 😂 #BaristaInvestigations"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

  Commentary:
  "Some days you're strutting like a superstar 💫, and other days you're just… well, a fan 💩. Just remember, even the fan plays a crucial role in the performance of life's symphony 🎶! Embrace your fan days with humor and grace 😄🌬️."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you lemons, it also makes sure your toothpaste, shampoo, and toilet paper run out simultaneously 😂💸 Just when you thought money couldn't slip through your fingers any faster, your toiletries team up for a surprise attack! It's like a financial obstacle course with a cheeky twist – watch out for those empty bottles and rolls! 🚿💰"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

  Commentary:
  "Rock bottom must be tired of seeing me, they should start a loyalty program 😆🥪☕️ #frequentvisitor"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew angels could rock a 9 to 5 job in style?! 😇💼 Clearly, this heavenly being prefers spreadsheets over harps! 😂 #AngelsonDuty"

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