Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

9 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Reported on WhatsApp:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Going viral on YouTube:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Just landed via Discord:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Making waves on Discord:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Making waves on Discord:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Freshly posted on Slack:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Home » Funny Life Quotes » Page 14

1127 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Commentary:
Who knew common sense came without instructions? 🧠🤔📦
2 weeks ago
Share →: A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Commentary:
Escaping online used to be my hobby, now escaping offline is my survival skill! 😆🔌🌍
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Commentary:
Work is my new personality. Send help! 🛠️🤔😴😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Commentary:
Life jackets accepting contactless payments now? Hope they have a good rewards program! 😂💳✈️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Commentary:
When I signed up for adulthood, I didn't realize the subscription included unlimited fatigue! 😴☕️😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Commentary:
Feeling like water therapy is cheaper than tech rehab! 💧🚫📱
2 weeks ago
Share →: I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Commentary:
The struggle is real when your inside voice wants to become your outside voice 😂🤐
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Commentary:
Sounds like the secret recipe for a successful life: less drama, more pajamas! 😴💼✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Commentary:
Turning 40: when the assembly instructions are clearer than your knees! 🛠️🪑😭
2 weeks ago
Share →: My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic 'hide-and-seek' technique: expert at hiding, pro at never seeking! 🕵️‍♀️🔍😂

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Making waves on Discord:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Going viral on Messenger:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Just shared via TikTok:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Going viral on Discord:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Live now on WhatsApp:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Just shared via YouTube:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Trending via Threads:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

1127 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Are you a software update, because not now!

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏