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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Making waves on X:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Just landed via Facebook:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Spotted on Instagram:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Home » Funny Life Quotes » Page 2

1121 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Commentary:
Guess I better start Googling 'how to be forever young' while I still remember how to use technology! 😅🕰️💻
5 days ago
Share →: Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Commentary:
Looks like the socializing hangover is real! 😂🥴📅 I'll see you in 2024.
5 days ago
Share →: They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Commentary:
Well, until then, I'll stick to dating pizza 🍕❤️😂
5 days ago
Share →: We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Commentary:
Sounds like we’re using advanced technology to time travel back to reality! 📱⏳🤣
5 days ago
Share →: A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Commentary:
Sounds like everyone checked their phones for a text from him 😂📱✂️
5 days ago
Share →: Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Commentary:
Keith Richards is basically time's favorite recycling project! ⏳🕺🍸
5 days ago
Share →: This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Commentary:
When the cost of living hits you like a rent invoice even Jesus couldn’t cover 🏦💸😅
5 days ago
Share →: Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Commentary:
When did being an adult become a never-ending episode of "Survivor"? 🌞😴🤦‍♂️
5 days ago
Share →: I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Commentary:
Even on rough days, let your pits smell like victory! 🙌💪🤣
5 days ago
Share →: Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Commentary:
Looks like even the mold thinks I’m a fungi! 🍄😂

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Just landed via Slack:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Live now on Twitch:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

1121 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

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