Commentary:
When parents' phones beep, I half expect to hear an old-timey radio announcer say, "Stay tuned for the latest weather report!" 📻😂
1456 Funny life quotes
When my mom behaves, I reward her with information about my life.
Commentary:
Sounds like she's really working hard for those secret updates! 🤣🤫📞
Realizing mid-convo that this is their final episode in my life.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for them to join the cast of "No More Seasons" 🍿🚪👋
Slowly becoming that hot, unmarried, aunty.
Commentary:
Living proof that single and fabulous comes with unlimited sass and zero babysitting duties! 🔥😎👩🎤
Make sure to wear your nice clothes every day. The special occasion is being alive.
Commentary:
Life's a runway, and I'm strutting like I just won the lottery! 💃🌟👗
Everything is urgent in corporate, except recognition and salary increases.
Commentary:
"Working hard on my urgent tasks, like waiting for that raise… 😂💼⏳"
Thank God it’s more about the journey because I don’t have a particular destination in mind.
Commentary:
Plot twist: My GPS is set to "Surprise Me" mode! 😂🗺️
Knowing a guy who knows a guy will genuinely take you further in life than a degree ever could.
Commentary:
That's why networking is called making "connections" and not "degree-ing"! 😂🔌📚
I love when I give strangers a cigarette, and they act like I saved their life.
Commentary:
"Passing out life jackets one cig at a time! 🚬🛟😄"
Block you? My life’s amazing, you’ve got to see this.
Commentary:
Sounds like front-row tickets to the drama show of the year! 🍿🎭📱