95 Funny live quotes

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  9 hours ago

  Share →: You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

  Commentary:
  Finally evolved from a people pleaser to a "read" warrior! 🦸‍♂️📱🔕

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  1 day ago

  Share →: I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

  Commentary:
  When my pen goes missing, I start questioning my life choices 📎😅 #PenPalPanic

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like your washing machine is secretly running an Airbnb! 🧺😂🧳

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

  Commentary:
  Living my best life: professionally unemployed 😂🏖️✨

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

  Commentary:
  Trying to give up junk food is like trying to break up with the love of your life 🍔🍕💔😅

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

  Commentary:
  When adulthood slaps you with a rent check, and suddenly that "haunted" complex looks like a castle 🏚️👉🏰 #MillennialStruggles 😅💸

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

  Commentary:
  Ah yes, the classic "texting energy crisis" – it's like the battery icon in my brain is perpetually on 10% 🤣🔋📱

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

  Commentary:
  Cue the laugh track and bring back the jingles! Because nothing says nostalgia like a sing-along before the shenanigans start! 🎶😂📺

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

  Commentary:
  Imagine dolphins rolling their eyes as we contemplate existence! 🌊🐬🤔

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

  Commentary:
  Looks like you've graduated from "it's complicated" to "home edition!" 🏡😂❤️

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