Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Trending via WeChat:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Trending via Twitch:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Trending via Slack:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Spotted on Instagram:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

120 Funny live quotes

Funny live quotes are like comedic ninjas 🥷, sneaking in when you least expect them 😂, leaving you in stitches before you know it. Whether from a stand-up show 🎤 or an impromptu remark from a friend, these gems make life sparkle with laughter. Ready to tickle your funny bone? Dive into the world of words that turn ordinary moments into hilarious memories! 🤪✨

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Trending via Telegram:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Going viral on Threads:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Just landed via TikTok:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Just shared via WeChat:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Just landed via Instagram:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

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