Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Making waves on X:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Funny morning wood quotes

New funny morning wood quotes 👇

All funny morning wood quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on X this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

80 shares on Slack this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

46 shares on X this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Just shared via Twitch:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Seen just now on Slack:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Spotted on YouTube:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Just shared via Instagram:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Shared recently on Discord:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴