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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Shared recently on Discord:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Spotted on X:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Breaking via Telegram:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Reported on Instagram:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Going viral on WeChat:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Trending via Discord:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Making waves on WeChat:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

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