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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Going viral on Telegram:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

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Funny new beginnings quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Spotted on Messenger:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Going viral on X:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Seen just now on Discord:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Live now on YouTube:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Just shared via Twitch:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Going viral on Slack:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

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