Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Making waves on TikTok:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Seen just now on Slack:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Just shared via Threads:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Seen just now on Instagram:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Making waves on Slack:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Trending via Facebook:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Going viral on TikTok:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Funny nuclear weapon quotes

Funny nuclear weapon quotes 💥💣 bring a surprising twist to a serious subject, mixing humor with history’s most explosive topic! Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or just love a good chuckle with a big boom 😂🔥, these witty lines add a spark to conversations about power, peace, and global drama. Get ready to laugh and think twice as we dive into the lighter side of nuclear might! ⚛️😄

New funny nuclear weapon quotes 👇

All funny nuclear weapon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

80 shares on Threads this month:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

21 shares on Slack this month:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Going bananas on Discord:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Spotted on Messenger:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Just landed via Discord:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Trending via YouTube:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

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