46 Funny open quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

  Commentary:
  "Flies 🪰- nature's tiny villains, always up to no good! 🦟 They think they're so sly with their hand-rubbing tactics, but they can't outsmart a simple open window. 😂 Maybe they're just trying to start a fly uprising? 🤔 Watch out, world, the flies are coming for us!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: 20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

  Commentary:
  Ah, the evolution of life 🌞🕶️ From party animal to fridge detective, the journey is as wild as the night before 🍾🎉 Emojis: 🌞🕶️🍾🎉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

  Commentary:
  "Applying for a job online is like sending your resume into a black hole and then getting interviewed like you were hand-picked by the heavens above 🌟💼 It's like, hey, I applied because I need a job and you had openings – it's not rocket science! 🚀😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Bob was ready to dive into those tortillas with gusto! 🌮😄 Who needs convenience when you have Bob's innovative tearing skills? Maybe he should start a tortilla bag opening masterclass! 🎉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we've got a case of a 'swearing jar' on our hands! 🤬🏺 Better start counting those swear words instead of loose change. Who knew jars could be so rebellious? 🤔😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry LinkedIn, I may be open to snacks and naps, but work? That's a non-negotiable contract! 💼😂 #ProfessionalPriorities"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

  Commentary:
  "Marriage milestones: From exchanging vows to mastering the art of opening a beer 🍻 without waking up your spouse! Cheers to love, laughter, and stealthy skills! 😉 #MarriageGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the profound wisdom of doors – always teaching us life lessons in their own unique way! 🚪💡 Remember, if at first the door doesn't open, try again. And again. And maybe a few more times just for good measure. Persistence is key, folks! 🔑😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

  Commentary:
  "No worries, I was just marinating in the suspense of waiting for your reply like a fine wine aging to perfection 🍷. Isn't leaving someone on read the modern-day equivalent of a cliffhanger in a soap opera? 🤔 #UnintentionalDrama"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

  Commentary:
  Oh no, the struggle is real! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that well-groomed hands could lead to such slippery situations? 🚿🥭 Looks like you'll have to rely on your wits to open that mango-scented treasure! 💅#WellGroomedWoes

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