Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Commentary:
"Love is patient, but a free bar test our patience faster than a wedding toast 🥂😅 #PrioritiesShiftWhenDrinksAreInvolved"
5 months ago
Share →: Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Commentary:
"Talk about believing in miracles! 🙏 Who knew some gas station restrooms could use divine intervention before entering? 😂 Better safe than sorry, right? 💫 #PrayBeforeYouPee"
5 months ago
Share →: I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Commentary:
Looks like that spatula has taken up permanent residence in the drawer, claiming squatter's rights! 🍳🤣 Better call in a mediator to resolve this heated kitchen dispute! 🔥🍴
5 months ago
Share →: Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Commentary:
"Feeling like your brain is a browser with a hundred tabs open? 🧠💻 Welcome to the chaotic world of multitasking where every tab seems to be playing a different sitcom episode! 🤪 Remember to save your progress before your brain crashes! 😂 #MultitaskingMadness"
5 months ago
Share →: If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Commentary:
"Need a secluded space to have those deep conversations with your inner voice? Slide into my DMs! 🤫💬 Who needs privacy when you have a direct messaging channel, right? 😂💌"
6 months ago
Share →: My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Commentary:
"No hard feelings if I ghosted your text, I was just practicing my disappearing act 🎩🐇✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Commentary:
Oh, the frustration of wanting a snack but being thwarted by a stubborn jar lid! 🤬🥜 It's like the universe is trying to teach us patience… or test our strength by making us wrestle with inanimate objects. 💪🏼🤣 Remember, when life gives you a tightly sealed jar, just take a deep breath and try again – or maybe invest in a more jar-friendly workout routine! 😉 #StruggleIsReal #JarLife
6 months ago
Share →: The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Commentary:
"Who needs an open mind when you can have an open bar? 🍹💡 Bottoms up for closed thoughts and open bottles! 🍻🧠 #Priorities"
Jan 28, 2025
Share →: Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of push and pull! It's like trying to navigate your way through a door marked 'Pull' when you're pushing with all your might 🤦‍♂️. But hey, at least now you have the key to unlocking life's mysteries – just remember to use the right word at the right time! 🚪🔑 #WordPlay #PushAndPull"
Jan 27, 2025
Share →: Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Commentary:
"Opening up to a woman is like entering the interrogation room with a skilled detective 🔍💬. Beware, even your old embarrassing stories might be brought back to haunt you! 👮‍♀️💭 #ProceedWithCaution"