Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Just shared via Slack:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Making waves on Slack:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Going viral on Messenger:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Making waves on X:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Live now on Telegram:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Just landed via TikTok:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Spotted on Instagram:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Funny philosophical quotes

Funny philosophical quotes bring deep thoughts and laughter together in the most unexpected ways 🤔😂. They turn serious ideas into playful puzzles, making you chuckle while you reflect 🌟🧠. Perfect for brightening your day or sparking a fun conversation, these witty gems remind us that wisdom doesn’t always have to be so serious! Ready to dive into some brainy humor? Let’s get thinking—and laughing! 🎉💡

New funny philosophical quotes 👇

All funny philosophical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

16 shares on X this month:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

78 shares on Slack this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Going viral on Instagram:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Going viral on X:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Shared recently on Discord:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Making waves on WeChat:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

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