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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Just shared via Slack:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Trending via TikTok:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Home » Funny Philosophical Quotes

Funny philosophical quotes

New funny philosophical quotes 👇

For even more funny philosophical quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny philosophical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Making waves on Telegram:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Reported on WeChat:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Going viral on Reddit:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

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