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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Live now on Slack:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Spotted on Messenger:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Just shared via X:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Just shared via Discord:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Shared recently on Threads:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Just landed via Discord:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Broadcasted on X:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Shared recently on Telegram:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Live now on X:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

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