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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Just shared via WeChat:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Going bananas on Messenger:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Trending via Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

21 Funny raise quotes

More funny raise quotes 👇

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

3 weeks ago

cost, cost of living, economy, expensive, food, food price, humor, i, inflation, irony, just, living, love, minimum, minimum wage, policy, price, raise, wage, wage policy

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40 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

22 shares on Discord this month:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Going viral on Messenger:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Going viral on X:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

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Activity Log ✨

21 Funny raise quotes

More funny raise quotes 👇

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

All funny raise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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