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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Live now on Slack:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Breaking via Slack:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Shared recently on Threads:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Going viral on X:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Funny retail therapy quotes

Funny retail therapy quotes are the perfect pick-me-up when your shopping cart is full and your mood needs a boost 🛍️😂. Whether you’re splurging on a little something or just dreaming of that perfect find, these witty sayings capture the joy and guilt-free fun of retail therapy 💸✨. Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even justify your next shopping spree! 🛒🎉

New funny retail therapy quotes 👇

All funny retail therapy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

67 shares on X this month:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Spotted on X:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Going bananas on Slack:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Going viral on Twitch:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Just landed via Instagram:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

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