funny retrograde quotes - Wordgag

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

May 30, 2026

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

May 30, 2026

My bank account is also in retrograde.

May 25, 2026

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

May 24, 2026

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

May 23, 2026

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

May 21, 2026