22 funny cow quotes - Wordgag

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

May 21, 2026

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

May 19, 2026

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

May 19, 2026

Jesus turns water into wine, and everybody goes crazy. Cows turn grass into milk, and nobody bats an eye.

May 18, 2026

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Apr 1, 2026

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Mar 31, 2026

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Mar 30, 2026

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Mar 30, 2026

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Mar 30, 2026

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Mar 29, 2026

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Mar 28, 2026

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Mar 28, 2026

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Mar 26, 2026

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Mar 26, 2026

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Mar 26, 2026

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Mar 26, 2026

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Mar 25, 2026

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Mar 25, 2026

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Mar 25, 2026

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Mar 25, 2026

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Mar 24, 2026