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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Breaking via Reddit:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Spotted on Twitch:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Trending via Telegram:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Going viral on YouTube:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Spotted on Twitch:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Making waves on Telegram:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

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Funny robber quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Going viral on WeChat:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Reported on Discord:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I was dropped as an adult.

Live now on Reddit:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Live now on TikTok:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

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