Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Live now on Pinterest:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Shared recently on Discord:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Seen just now on X:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Trending via WhatsApp:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Funny robber quotes

Funny robber quotes bring a cheeky twist to the world of heists and capers 😎💰 Whether you’re into clever one-liners or playful puns, these quotes add a dash of humor to the suspenseful life of a bandit 🕵️‍♂️🔓 Get ready to laugh out loud as we dive into the lighter side of crime—no masks or alarms needed! 😂🚨

New funny robber quotes 👇

All funny robber quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh good. Another day.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

84 shares on Discord this month:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

86 shares on Reddit this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not my room, not my elephant.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you a software update, because not now!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Spotted on WeChat:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Making waves on Instagram:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Making waves on Discord:

Dear music, thanks!

Spotted on Snapchat:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Spotted on TikTok:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

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