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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Just landed via YouTube:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Going viral on Instagram:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Spotted on Pinterest:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Home » Funny Robber Quotes

Funny robber quotes

Funny robber quotes bring a cheeky twist to the world of heists and capers 😎💰 Whether you’re into clever one-liners or playful puns, these quotes add a dash of humor to the suspenseful life of a bandit 🕵️‍♂️🔓 Get ready to laugh out loud as we dive into the lighter side of crime—no masks or alarms needed! 😂🚨

New funny robber quotes 👇

All funny robber quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Slack this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

53 shares on X this month:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

56 shares on Discord this month:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,076

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Going viral on X:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Just landed via YouTube:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Going viral on Messenger:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

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