Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Just shared via Slack:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Breaking via Discord:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Trending via Threads:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Funny rose ceremony quotes

New funny rose ceremony quotes 👇

All funny rose ceremony quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Drive like no one is watching.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Just shared via WeChat:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Trending via Reddit:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Going viral on Discord:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

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