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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Freshly posted on X:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Seen just now on Instagram:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Funny rule-breaking quotes

Funny rule-breaking quotes 💥 are the perfect dose of mischief and laughter 😜, reminding us that sometimes bending the rules leads to the best stories! Whether you’re a rebel at heart or just love a good chuckle, these witty lines will inspire your playful side 🤪. Ready to break the mold and have some fun? Let’s dive into the world of cheeky wisdom and bold humor! 🎉🔥

New funny rule-breaking quotes 👇

All funny rule-breaking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

91 shares on X this month:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

64 shares on Messenger this month:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Going viral on Slack:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Just landed via Facebook:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Trending via Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Just shared via WeChat:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

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