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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The peace of not knowing.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Breaking via WeChat:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Trending via Messenger:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Funny short arm quotes

Funny short arm quotes are the perfect way to add a little humor and charm to your day 🤣💪 Whether you’re celebrating your unique style or just love a good laugh, these witty lines bring smiles and good vibes everywhere! From clever puns to playful jabs, get ready to embrace the fun side of short arms with a wink and a smile 😜✨ #ShortArmsBigLaughs

New funny short arm quotes 👇

All funny short arm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

88 shares on X this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Shared recently on Discord:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Breaking via X:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Live now on Twitch:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Making waves on Twitch:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Just landed via YouTube:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

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