Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Trending via Threads:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Breaking via Telegram:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Making waves on Pinterest:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Just shared via Facebook:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

61 Funny short quotes

More funny short quotes 👇

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

1 month ago

ad, advertisement, before, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, humor, online, online video, safety, seems, short, short video, tutorial, video, YouTube

For even more funny short quotes, hit next 👇

All funny short quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

42 shares on Slack this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Trending via Threads:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Making waves on Threads:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Trending via Pinterest:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Trending via Snapchat:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Going bananas on Slack:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

61 Funny short quotes

More funny short quotes 👇

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

All funny short quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨