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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Going bananas on X:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Going viral on Facebook:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Going viral on X:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Spotted on X:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

61 Funny short quotes

More funny short quotes 👇

Life is short, flirt with me!

3 months ago

flirt, fun, humor, life, love, me, playful, relationship, short

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

97 shares on Threads this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

30 shares on X this month:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

84 shares on Slack this month:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Been getting really into nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

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61 Funny short quotes

More funny short quotes 👇

Life is short, flirt with me!

All funny short quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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