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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Going viral on Twitch:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Just shared via Threads:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Spotted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Trending via Pinterest:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Funny slave quotes

New funny slave quotes 👇

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

5 days ago

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All funny slave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

97 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

54 shares on X this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Going viral on WeChat:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Making waves on Reddit:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Live now on Instagram:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Just landed via Instagram:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny slave quotes

New funny slave quotes 👇

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

All funny slave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨