Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Shared recently on Discord:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Shared recently on Discord:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Just landed via TikTok:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Spotted on Pinterest:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Just shared via Reddit:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Funny snowflake quotes

New funny snowflake quotes 👇

All funny snowflake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

98 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

62 shares on TikTok this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Spotted on Facebook:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Seen just now on Threads:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

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